RHYME SCHEMES IN “RASPBERRY DONE”
examples of rhyme patterns in a sonnet sequence about living death
I was thinking about rhyming poetry and how I’ve always found an appeal in somewhat intricate rhyme schemes in certain poets including Robert Lowell and John Berryman. In the past three years or so I have written a sonnet sequence called “Raspberry Done” in which I experimented with certain patterns that I would like to share with you. By doing this it may allay my fears of nuclear war which are creeping back up again and threatening to push me off of twitter once again. I just need something to do tonight and it’s been a while since a substack post.
There are typically two forms of sonnets: Shakespearean and Petrarchan, and the main difference seems to be the rhyme patterns these 14 line poems utilize. Shakespearean sonnets typically use ABAB CDCD EFEF GG: three quatrains followed by a couplet. Petrarchan sonnets have a different rhyme scheme, two quatrains followed by a sestet or six line unit of two tercets. The sestet can take various shapes and patterns but the usual pattern would go something like this: ABBA ABBA CDE CDE or ABBA ABBA CDCDCD.
When I was writing my death sonnets in 2019 I used many shapes of sonnets but I occasionally wanted to come up with my own variation on the sonnet form. I took the Shakespearean octet (two quatrains) and welded it to a Petrarchan sestet of my own devising. Thus, ABAB CDCD EFE GFG. Here’s an example from “Raspberry Done”:
As you can see, the rhymes at the ends of the sestet’s lines go “removed, editors, proved, used, worse, fused.” EFE, GFG.
And I used this same pattern elsewhere in the poem:
And:
What I have concluded though, is that this formulation, with its rococo forking of the twin F’s, doesn’t always work that well. There’s something off about what this does to the reader as they wait for the rhyme patterns to click. The reader expects a rhyme to fall in a certain way, and EFE GFG may be too confusing. It may “look” better on the page than it sounds. Which puts into question whether sonnets, rhyming poetry, is done for the look or the sound when read out loud or resonating in the kind of the reader. I can appreciate that more now, I think. Here’s another sonnet from the sequence which doesn’t have that rhyme scheme, but a more comfortable one, at the end EFG EFG:
There! Isn’t that better? Goes well time, grows asphodel lime.
I can hear the Robert Lowell & Berryman in those sonnets, especially the first and last one
Hey there! This is really interesting. Berryman and Lowell are fascinating.